0Human Beings are Social Beings. We cannot live alone. We are dependent on other people for all our needs. We live in a group in the home, offices, society, clubs, etc.
While living with people, there are times when we may not like other person's behaviour, attitude, performance, etc. e.g. spouse not coming on time, the child no behaving properly, salesperson making poor sales, etc. where it becomes important to communicate our thoughts and feelings about the same.
People usually adopt two approaches in above situations:
1. KEEP QUIET: They keep their thoughts and feelings in their heart as they fear that if they criticise or speak their thoughts and feelings, the other person may feel bad and their relationship will get spoiled. But such approach does not work as other person does not know what you are feeling or thinking and he/she may continue to act as before which does not work as the problem is not resolved.
2. BLAST, SHOUT or SCOLD: Many people who are bold and aggressive. They speak on the face of other people what they are feeling or thinking. And that other person must change their ways which is good but many times such bold and straightforward communication can spoil the relations. As it may hurt the ego of other person and can lead to fights, conflicts, arguments and physical fight also. Hence even this approach is not the best approach.
So what to do? If you keep quiet, there is a problem and if you are very straight then also there is a problem.
So the solution lies in the middle path, i.e. Communicate but in a responsible way.
Such communication requires you to understand human behaviour, human psychology, Communication principles and what is called " Speak to Peace and Harmony" System which consists of 5 steps as under:
1. Create Empowering Context
2. Create Connection
3. Express without blaming
4. Make Request
5. End on a positive note.
By using Speak to Peace and Harmony system, many of my students have improved their relationship with parents, husband and wife, employees, etc. thereby saving their marriage, jobs and relationships.
